


Those That Love Them

by winrystan



Series: Shenanigans, Romance, We’ve Got it All. [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ed finally gets his feelings out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally healthy edward elric? I know her, F/M, Gen, Rated teen for swearing, Sad with a Happy Ending, Swearing, There’s comfort I promise, There’s so much hurt in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25540939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winrystan/pseuds/winrystan
Summary: Photographs can bring back memories you either treasure or can’t stand to think about.The photograph Edward Elric held was the only one he possessed of his immediate family all together. And he couldn’t stand it.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell (brief)
Series: Shenanigans, Romance, We’ve Got it All. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850692
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Those That Love Them

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place between chapter 6 and chapter 8 (7 is just an art post) of #General-Shenanigans. It can be read on its own, but please go give it a read!

Photographs can bring back memories you either treasure or can’t stand to think about. 

The photograph Edward Elric held was the only one he possessed of his immediate family all together. And he couldn’t stand it. 

It was taken three years before Edward’s mother had passed away. 

It was also taken three years before his father became a passing figure in his life.

Fifteen years had passed since the photograph Ed clutched in his hand was taken His fingers clutched it so tightly, the glossy material had begun to wrinkle.

In fifteen years, Ed had lost his mother, his leg, and had _almost_ lost his younger brother. In fifteen years, Winry had lost both of her parents to the war, and had almost lost her best friends. Al was lucky to have awakened from his coma, while Ed was lucky to have only lost his leg. Winry was lucky in the aspect that she _didn’t_ lose her best friends. 

Now, all these years later, it was time to, once again, confront the past. 

While dwelling on his musings, Ed was startled by a knock on the window of his truck. Slipping the photograph back into his pocket, he unlocked the door, looking at her briefly.

“Sorry to have startled you,” Winry smiled gently. As she opened the passenger’s side door, her eyes were clouded with melancholy. “Are you ready to go?”

Ed gave a solemn nod, gazing at his girlfriend with a sigh. “Yeah.”

“Where’s Al?”

“He’s with Hohenheim,” he shrugged, the displeasure evident in his tone. “They’re going to meet us at the cemetery. You, Al and I will visit Auntie and Uncle’s graves first and leave him with Mom, then he’s going to wait for Al in the car when you, Al and I visit Mom. Make sense?”

Winry gave a small nod, grabbing Ed’s hand as she gave it a small squeeze. “You ready?” Ed raised her hand to his lips, planting a gentle kiss. “Yeah.”

The cemetery wasn’t a very far drive from Winry’s house, but they took all the time they could getting there on the winding dirt road. The despondence of the drive left them both feeling on edge, but empty at the same time. They cried all the tears they thought they could at the funeral, but somehow tears always trickled down their cheeks when they visited their parents graves. 

Twenty wordless minutes had passed, a pit growing in both of their stomachs. Was it dread? He couldn’t tell. 

It was the time of year he hated the most. It dredged up feelings of anguish, despair; like dumping a gallon of salt into old wounds. That’s what visiting the graves felt like. It washed them all in helplessness and shame all over again. 

The sky was painted an exquisitely beautiful blue, clouds like cotton scattered across the sky. It was a cruel irony to what they had to face today, and the feelings that they still harbored from long ago. 

Walking from the truck to their parents graves, the dreadful pit in their stomachs grew larger, only magnifying with each step. Soon enough, the feeling was accompanied by a looming sense of guilt. Why were they riddled with such anxiety anytime they visited their parents? They’d been doing it for well over a decade, now, and every time they did the same feelings returned. 

For a split second, these feelings faded from their mind once they’d met up with Al, who offered a small smile and open arms. Ed and Winry graciously took the offer, their arms wrapping around him with a relieved sigh. The embrace was familiar and comforting, their anxiety fading for just a moment. It was a reminder of what hadn’t been lost, acting as a reassurance for the three of them. They all had each other. 

Standing in front of the graves of Sarah and Yuriy Rockbell was difficult, to say the least. They stumbled over small updates on their lives and casual conversation that was filled with held tears and shuddering voices. Tears that were meant to be shed long ago finally escaped seemingly dry eyes, with the three holding each other as they cried. 

It was a simple gesture that meant the world to them, and comforted them nonetheless. That was all that mattered.

The process repeated itself all over again once they had shifted to Trisha’s grave. Ed and Al gave their mother an update on their lives, smiling as they went into detail on all of their shenanigans, tear filled laughter echoed throughout the cemetery, along with quiet sobs. Ed knew his mother wouldn’t approve of his trickery — she’d probably scold him for it. 

He’d do anything to hear her scold him just one last time. 

The juxtaposition of their moods in the visits was astounding, but it was best to get out their emotions rather than on sleepless, tear-filled nights and late night phone calls. They all needed a justification for their sobs, knowing that if not now, they’d have to wait until the next visit. 

The grave visits lasted hours, and by the time that they felt content with their visits, their goodbyes lasted a lifetime. 

Each placed a bouquet on their parents’ respective graves, with the trio embracing one another for a final time before beginning the tortuous journey home. 

“Actually,” Ed began, traces of hesitation in his voice, “I want to talk to Hohenheim before we go. Would you two mind waiting? It shouldn’t take long.” 

Winry and Al blinked, perplexed, but nodded swiftly.

“Sure, Ed, take your time. Al and I will wait in your car. Just text me when you’re done.” 

“Will do,” Ed confirmed, grappling with the fact that he’d have to face his father. Emotions were already running high, but he supposed letting go of his feelings after a verbose heart to heart with his mother and his aunt and uncle would erase his burked feelings toward his living parent. His uneven footsteps slapped against the ground, alerting Hohenheim of his presence. 

“Oh, Edward. I wasn’t expecting you,” he began, only to be cut off. 

“I have something to say,” Ed said. “Just listen before you say anything.” Ed gave him a false courtesy, with his unceremonious tone conveying his true feelings. 

“You… you left us, Hohenheim. You left Mom, and me, and Al all alone.” His voice trembled through gritted teeth, his jaw tightening. It took every fiber of his being to hold onto any shred of civility he could muster. 

“And you abandoned us, all for, what, research? I mean, what could happen in five years, you know? What were you doing that was so important that you had to leave your family for five years? Things could have been so much different! Mom might still be around, and maybe the accident wouldn’t have happened,” Ed choked out the last of his words, seething with resentment and rage. 

“Maybe… maybe not, though, but… _why?_ You’re smart enough to know how hellish Al and I’s lives have been without you. And Mom is fucking dead! And you don’t even seem to show a bit of remorse! And- and you just… waltz into our lives like nothing changed?” He felt his words were like venom, piercing through Hohenheim and flooding his system with their weight. 

“You aren’t our father — not in any way, shape, or form. If it wasn’t for Granny or Curtis', Al and I would have been shoved into foster care. God knows how that would have gone.” Fists clenched and shaking, Ed gritted his teeth, his gaze piercing through Hohenheim like the tip of a snake’s forked tongue. 

“And now you’re here…” he muttered, sucking in air to continue. “I know Mom never resented you for leaving, and neither does Al, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t fucking _stand_ you. Your pathetic attempts to bond with us after all these years, attempting to act like a father; after _abandoning_ your family. How can you do that? Pretending that nothing happened? _How can you live with yourself?”_

Ed spat out these words, disregarding the fact that tears pricked his eyes, threatening to spill over. He quickly blinked them away, wanting nothing more than to appear strong despite vocally airing out his resentment and rage. 

A beat of silence followed his words, his shoulders and his jaw clenched. It took every ounce of Ed’s strength not to pummel the man standing in front of him. Hohenheim, however, blinked away his own tears. Though his son was alive and arguably well, he knew he had lost him: maybe even permanently. There was no way to mend the rift between them, and he didn’t blame Edward. 

He knew he was a horrible father, indeed. 

“I don’t blame you for the way that you feel, Edward. Thank you for telling me this. I know that… that I’m essentially a stranger to you and your brother, and I want nothing more than for those circumstances to change. It was never my intention to erase your struggle and pretend I had done nothing wrong.” Hohenheim's voice trembled for a moment before he cleared his throat, gaining back the steely and prim demeanor Ed knew so well in his father. 

In all honesty, it shocked Ed, as the boy had never seen a soft side to his father, one his mother seemed to love so dearly. 

“I won’t beg for your forgiveness,” continued Hohenheim, “because I know it’s not deserved. I am so utterly thankful for your tolerance and willingness to allow me into your life.” He took a breath, thinking of Trisha, then Al, then Ed. “I love your mother, Al, and you more than I can ever express, and I never stopped loving you three.” Hohenheim deliberated over his words carefully, but eventually brought his hands to his chest, digging through his collar. 

Gingerly, he pulled up an aged chain, his wedding ring strung up on the gold alongside a locket. Inside the locket two photographs were carefully aligned inside the frame, one of Trisha on their wedding day, and the other was a copy of the only family portrait they had together as a family of four.

“I never stopped thinking about you three. I carried reminders of you anywhere I went. I never, ever stopped thinking about you. I want you to know that .” 

“That doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you,” Ed spoke through gritted teeth, shoving his hands into his pockets, clutching once again at the tattered photograph. The same photograph that his father held dear to his heart. “Tell me all the sob stories you have and I’ll still never forgive you.”

“I know.” Hohenehim’s voice registered at barely above a whisper, his gaze averted away from his son. 

_Son… Do I really have the right to call him my own?_ he mused to himself, a gentle sigh escaping his lips that Ed didn’t register. Ed, now having nothing else to say, began to turn around, but Hohenheim, mustering up the courage to speak, breathed out a call for Edward.

“I don’t mean to be presumptuous… however, I want to ask you for this.” Hohenheim’s voice, usually reserved but strong, had an inflection that Ed couldn’t place. 

Regret? Likely, but there was something else. Longing? He didn’t know. Maybe even… hope?

“If you’ll give me the chance, I… I want to try and mend our relationship. You have every right to refuse me; I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most. I’ve been selfish and negligent.” Clearing his throat, Hohenheim covered a sob, his hands trembling in his pockets.

“Everything has been ripped apart because of my actions, but, with you and your brother’s help, I want to make up for my actions. Again, you have every right to refuse me. Whatever you decide is up to you. I’ll have no qualms about what you choose. I haven’t asked Alphonse about this, either, so it’s between you and I.”

Ed stared at the man before him, unsure of what to do. His first thought was Al: what would he want? He’d want a family. Family isn’t always blood; it was the bonds you make, as cliche as he thought that was. The thought of rebuilding what had been broken sparked a wish Ed had long since repressed, but when he thought of family, Hohenheim was nowhere near it. _What did he himself really want?_ Ed didn’t know. He dredged through his mind, unable to find a definite answer. 

“I… I don’t know. Part of me longs for the family that I wish I had: All of us, happy. I have my leg, Mom is alive, Al wouldn’t need crutches… but I can’t imagine you in the picture. You say you want to... reconstruct a family, but the thing is, I know I have one.” Ed’s hesitance morphed into a comforting reassurance, mostly to himself. He didn’t need the father that he always longed for, or the answer to the question he always asked himself. _What did I do wrong?_ was no longer a question of doubt, but an affirmation. He didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t need Hohenheim when he had _them._

“I have two godparents who love me and Al, and a grandmother who cared for us like we were her own, and my friends who treat us like family. I have a family.” 

Hohenheim, ever thankful that Ed even considered his offer, gave a nod accompanied by a wistful smile. He had missed out on something wonderful, but he would always be thankful for the family that his sons had made along the way. 

“I see. Thank you for considering my offer regardless. I respect your decision. Regardless, It makes me beyond happy that you have a family. I’ll be off, then.”

“What about Al? Isn’t he going with you?” 

“He said something about wanting to go back with you and Winry, so he told me to go on ahead.” Hohenheim smiled slightly, chuckling to himself briefly. “Plus, he said something about wanting to crash a date.”

Ed’s eyebrows furrowed, his mouth forming into a thin line. “That bastard! I’m going to get him back for this!” Seemingly forgetting all about Hohenheim, Ed charged to his truck, his focus deterring from his father entirely. 

“He has a family, huh,” Hohenheim mused, fiddling with the locket and staring at the photographs inside. “I may have failed them, but at least those who love them as much as I do haven’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was really fun to write! Ho boy. I had a lot of fun writing this, and I wanna give a big thank you to Nea for betaing my fic! I really appreciate it <3 I hope that it wasn’t too sad, haha. Let me know if you guys would like more stuff like this in the future!


End file.
